It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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