is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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