I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
