her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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