Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
