Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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