So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Where is the hickey?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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