I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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