she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
