well you can't waste a boner
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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