i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
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