I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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