Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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