is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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