FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
where am i from again
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
