We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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