Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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