He asked to "fluff my boner.."
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
