u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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