He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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