you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Be still, my beating vagina.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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