So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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