Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
