Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
