We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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