she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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