Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
