The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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