just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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