i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
