I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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