In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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