based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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