Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
