this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize