I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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