I'm so fucking centered right now
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize