Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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