They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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