Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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