Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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