I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
