This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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