I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
