OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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