He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize