I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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