need another drink. this is the easiest way
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
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He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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