i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
