God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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