when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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