Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
