I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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