found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
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I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
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Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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