she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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