Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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