I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
