There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
wanna go halves on a baby?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
